I Do Not Have the Power to Cause a Flood

by Grace Petrie

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Performed live on the Now Show, BBC Radio 4, January 23rd 2014


I do not have the power to cause a flood
I'm not like Storm from X-men who so easily could
Manipulate the weather, causing havoc where she stood
But if I had the power to cause a flood,
I would

Oh I'd send one right to Russia, straight to Putin's door
The waves of my destruction spanning miles
To wash away the prejudice and then never more would he make statements
That equate us all to paedophiles
But instead give all Pussy Riot a dame-hood
If I only had the power to cause a flood

Oh I'd send one to Uganda where Museveni says
Gay and bi and trans "abnormals" need a cure
Until he finds one, he's content to throw them all in jail
A life sentence of repentance but you can be sure
That Museveni definitely would
Know it if I had the power to cause a flood

And for Jeremy Clarkson, it's all just a bit of fun
For our highly paid celebrities
To use language of bigotry
And then make no apology
Because no one sees a link between
The things he thinks it's fine to tweet
And people yelled at in the street
And kids abused in every school
And the time my windows were bricked through
And Putin and Museveni
For UKIP and for Jeremy
And banter from the Top Gear lads,
Yeah it's PC gone bloody mad
And that's all just well and good

But if I had the power to cause a flood,
You can bet I would.


released 04 April 2014
Written & performed by Grace Petrie



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